We are all aware that Christmas now starts in mid-August. It is already impossible to penetrate Woolworths without breaking your ankle on a 12 ton tin of Quality Street. Every advertisement on the Television on Saturday morning is for terrifying slack-mouthed weeing dolls called Baby Born, voiced by a 12 year old animatronic child from Lithuania, and unless I am very much mistaken, I saw some mince pies in Waitrose in October. What would the Baby Jesus have to say about it all? We shall never know, for he would have been a baby, and therefore unable to talk. (Which reminds me: there's a BOGOF on myrrh in Tesco this week.) However, even I am at a loss to understand what this man (who I followed for some five miles, but not in That Way), was doing wearing a Father Christmas hat in his car on this bright November day. More to the point, why is he fondling it? It is Not Right, and I do not fancy a go on his pom-pom.
12 comments:
I once had such a hat. It was very fondleable.
One fondles what one can.
He is obviously one of the elves who has gone astray but remembered his hat. Maybe he is going to the Tesco sale.
He had a cold head, but feared (correctly) that if he wore his wooly Chelsea hat he would be derided & despised?
Can't speak for the fondling, although I rub the cuff of my jumper between my thumb & forefinger a lot. It's a comfort thing.
No, you are correct: it is Not Right. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is Wrong.
Though synergistically I decided yesterday or the day before that it was now officially time to start worrying about Christmas in Casa Cheerful.
I'm no further on than the worrying, mind.
I for one do not believe that he is fondling it. I believe that he is worried that it might fall off. Perhaps it is very windy inside his car.
Also, perhaps his dashboard clock is a bit fast and he thinks it's December.
M'lud, the defence rests.
Tell the truth, you've always wanted to sit on Santa's knee... so don't pretend you don't understand the fondling of the hat.
Er... as for the whole Xmas in October thing, no I have no idea either. It's confusing; the other night I passed a group of guisers, who had just bought fireworks for Guy Fawkes, as they stood outside a shop window and looked at the Christmas Trees.
(ok, not really but it COULD happen and it's NOT RIGHT!!)
You didn't think Santa really went round on a flying sled did you?
He has a hot-hatch (in Red of course) like all the other cool kids...
are you sure it's a man?
Bah humbug.
P.S. Think I've just joined Polish trade union: uugnosz
That may be my father.
He started singing 'When Grandmas Got Run Over By A Reindeer' in July.
He likes Christmas.
I have eaten all of my biscuits!!!
[They were nice]
My cousin bought some of those mince pies. I refused to eat them. Everyone else felt queasy afterwards. It is unwise to eat food which is not in season as any yule kno.
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