As I progressed down Brixton Hill on the 159 bus the other day, a splendid piece of classical statuary caught my eye from the top deck. I could imagine him - all 6ft of him - hidden in my Bower of Bliss, with (perhaps) a single string of fairy lights hung around his manly neck, and a large felt hat placed at a jaunty angle.
Today, as I wandered down Brixton Hill to Job Centre Plus (it was boring; I filled out some forms; Adrian said he didn't want to work there, and no, they didn't have any marketing jobs), I made a special detour to give him the once-over.
Horrors! What did I find? He was NOT FOR SALE. What's more, I couldn't check him out (as it were) properly, as his modesty had been Covered by the shopkeeper. And what a shopkeeper! Tempting me with his wares that were not for sale; putting white vinyl sofas on public display; covering up the classical manhood and chasing me from his premises when he caught me lifting the piece of paper. "What you doing? What you DOING? Put camera away! Leave paper! Leave shop! Dirty lady!". My reputation is in tatters. I am now officially a "dirty lady". Oh well. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
23 comments:
Love to all....
Angel Feathers Tickle Me (is that your given name?), hello and welcome - cup of tea? (Only Andre may have a biscuit.) Thank you for your charming if mysterious message.
(1) You have suchadventures! What am I doing wrong? I only live about an inch away from you but in my world nothing ever happens
I am entirely tickled by the modest statue, and will seek it out tomorrow.
Maybe not as tickled as our new co-respondent. But almost.
Yes but Mikey you work, you see. So you aren't around to spend the days wandering around and looking at Classical Cock Hidden Under Bits of Paper. (The shop is called Bazaar and is next to the dry cleaner on Brixton Hill - just down a bit from the prison and that caff that used to be Basement Joe's).
Clare - I am always pleased to be of assistance.
Go on everyone. Go and cheer Clare on. Go ON.
my Cognac advertising images
Oops, didn't mean to do that. Is interesting IF and only IF you like old Cognac advertising (some of which is very beautiful, come to think of it). If not, ignore it.
If not x 2, how the SODDING HELL do you delete a comment?
I think you have to go into the dashboard & delete ALL the comments from that post. Then send a contrite email to everyone who left a comment (you DID write their names down didn't you?) asking them if they can remember what they said and if so sweetly could they post it again.
Seems more bother than it's worth...
Hooray! Thank you darling Clare. Have just spend 3 hours with a Big Pen and a bit of cardboard. Can You Guess Why?
mikey's right, you do lead such an interesting life. when i was unemployed and lived in london, i just sat in front of the telly, getting good at sonic the hedgehog. ... hmmmmm.
dirty dirty dirty.
I shall hold you to your biscuit promise - Dirty Lady that looks at dinkles in the street!!
Andre, I am Prepared with a packet of Bourbons.
Ah. That's mildly humiliating. I've only just noticed that little thing: It doesn't look much like a bin. I thought it was just for decoration.
No great surprise: I don't see a lot of comments round my way.....
Oh darling don't worry. Clare is an Expert in All Things. Why no comments?
Oh - and Lucia dearest - I also fit in ENORMOUS amounts of Fern & Phil and Pacman.
Nice. You got busted for peeping! On a statue, no less.
Dirty lady. hee.
When I was unemployed I bought a bright green vintage seventies phone for my kitchen, in a second-hand shop I'd never known was there before. Unfortunately it still isn't up - but it is a thing of beauty (& would look SO beautiful next to a white vinyl sofa).
Oh yes, unemployed was fun. Those were the days!
(1) no comments because (clearly) the people that visit my blog are either so awestruck by my perspicacity or irritated by my sheer bloody brass neck that they scuttle away without a word
(2) I related The Tale of the Dirty Lady to my spouse, who was immensely tickled: My 4 year old, who was unexpectedly in earshot, has a new catchphrase: "I am a dirty lady"
Last time I was unemployed for a long while was during the first Gulf War. I seem to remember spending entire days lying on the bed listening to Scud FM and reading to try to quell the rising panicky conviction that I Would Never Work Again. I was so sure that I was on the scrap heap I suggested to the secretarial agency that they should be looking for work for me in Kuwait - you know, rebuilding the country, once they'd capped all the burning oil wells - they probably thought I was bonkers.
There's probably only a figleaf under the paper. When I was a very small girl I asked my mother why statues had figleaves *there*, and she said without missing a heartbeat that it was because figleaves are easier to sculpt.
Mikey, it is your perspicacity of course. I have the same thing and it daily confirms for me my own brilliance. Either that or - hmm, never mind...
I am delighted Mikey that you have a New Piece of Vocabularly for your SMall Daughter. (Sorry.)
Ms B - there's a shop in Lower Marsh that reconditions phones. I have a red one. It barely works, but it looks good.
Indigo. I listen to Radio 4 all day and take notes. As for the fig leaf ... genius.
TL. I know. I was greeted with 'Hello Dirty Lady!" yesterday. Sigh.
That'll be "vocabulary" and "small". I give up. x
I prefer "vocabularly". It implies a particularly rich way with words.
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