It is now 2.15 in the morning. At 2am, my neighbour knocked on the door and asked me if I had any food. I gave him some cold stuff, probably with fag ash and drool on it. "You got any cold beer?", he asked. "Strangely, yes I have", I said, and gave him two bottles of Budvar. He started trying to tell me a story about what happened when he went to our local (which you only go to if you are clinically insane, blind and/or over the age of 78), so I sent him to bed. As he was leaving, he asked me when I was going to sort my garden out and get the windows cleaned.
He is ten years younger than me, but I know for a fact that I was never that much of a twat.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
5 comments:
It was obvious he was a twat. I don't know why you ever gave him the benefit of the doubt. He is 27 and likes Keane.
Shall Mummy come round and "have a word"? I think, now that the drain problem has been sorted out, we have a means of disposal.
If you feel this is a step too far at this stage:
1. tell him you are creating an urban oasis for wildlife in the garden.
2. suggest he organises a windowcleaner for all windows to be cleaned at same time, and that he stays at home in order to greet and pay windowcleaner.
3. install small fridge in hall with beer and long-life food in it, as he is obviously not old enough to sort out his own grocery needs.
4. put sign, in very large letters on your front door: "Look at watch. If dark outside and both hands on 12 (number at top) or further round the dial, DO NOT DISTURB."
As a last-but-one resort, tell him about your marvellous blog and hope he gets the hint.
As last resort, phone his Mummy and complain.
Hope this helps.
I'm with Dave on this one.
Keane = TWAT in my book
D&D - you were both right, but I like to give people a Chance. He has had enough chances, and now he must Die.
MM - he is getting a fridge apparently (hasn't got one - Christ on a Bike). As for the rest, I am actually going to say to him not to knock on the door after 11 as I am usually Busy, and leave it at that. I can't BEAR it, he's just slammed the dor again.
Anyone who attempts - by whatever means - to access your property at 2.00am to avail themselves of certain goods is technically a BURGLAR. As such, courtesy of our crowd-pleasing Government, you are well within your rights to cave their head in with a tyre iron the second they cross your threshold.
Watch Pacific Heights. It's like an instruction manual.
Post a Comment