Christ on a bike. I arrive at the gymnasium and it's not raining, and Anuja-the-personal-trainer is there, and we look around the top floor gym and go: naah, come on, let's go out. We walk for miles. Anuja tells me about something that someone said to someone else and someone else's parents. I stop listening. We get to the park. She makes me run between lamposts, sometimes up to four at a time, and then walk. We observe my heart rate, and laugh quite a lot. We run some more. We walk across a football pitch or two ("anyway, so then he found out her mum doesn't like him" "Oooh, really.") She makes me run more. I am going purple. The back of my head is running freely with sweat. We walk a bit. I run some more.
"I think you should enter yourself for a 5-mile run". I laugh so much I stumble, twist my ankle and fall over. We spend the rest of the session on a bench talking about ankle supports.
13 comments:
A nap usually helps me get over my urge to work out.
I did ten hours of that last night in between TwatBoy slamming the door. Didn't really have an excuse. Anyway you're probably not as fat as me, and you probably have a job, which means that you have other things to worry about. Sigh.
The best part of this story is that you hurt your ankle.
The pain of others makes me feel better about myself ;)
Steve~~
NWM, I've found this hilarious blog. It's a 24-year-old non-working American who bought 8 houses in four states without putting down a deposit on any of them and now has USD2.5million debt. No, no, really, you will find that you don't feel at all sorry for him when you see the disconnect between the reality of his position and his idea of how to get out of it. The comments are good, too.
I used to know someone rather like him, who was the sous-chef at A Very Select London Hotel. I remember him saying that, when he asked some rich person to fund an entrepreneurial idea of his, the rich person would respond indulgently, "cheeky monkey, give him the money". Rich people don't get rich by giving away their money to uppity chefs.
Oops, here is the URL
http://iamfacingforeclosure.com/
I am very impressed with all your efforts. You put me to shame. And your restraint in the face of Anuja is worthy of a saint. The mere fact that she was expecting me to exercise would make me want to slap her. Having to put up with inane drivel as well would be much too much to bear.
I hope the ankle has recovered.
Indigo - thank you. I shall read it forthwith.
JJ - Oh heavens don't be put to shame. I have never been fit in my entire life, ever, and I need something to do as the cold winter nights draw in. Actually without it I'd go mad. If I go to the gym every day (more or less), I feel like I've DONE something. Work and families give you something to do, innit. Anuja is desperately annoying but very sweet really and (strangely, considering she is a half-wit), a good trainer. I think. I hope. Cough. Ankle now fully recovered. Is like being shot in the foot, then you wriggle it around a bit and it's fine. Weird.
Holy shit, Indigo. That site is (as one commenter puts it), "pure gold". His hair! His wife! The fact that he is 24! And that he likes to spent time with his Maker on Sunday! The desk! The ball! The po-faced comment from Rich Dad's Son!
My nerves.
Everyone go see this blog immediately. It is Sensational.
Blimey. I just checked that site out. He's quite scary.
And I'm still impressed, whatever your reasons for exercising. I quite am sure that given full days of not much to do, I would not choose to fill them with anything remotely healthy.
Did TwatBoy turn up for the meeting, by the way? I'm dying to know.
No sign of TwatBoy yet. I don't think he's back from work yet (God knows I'd hear him slamming the door and cavalcading up the stairs like an elephant.) I shall of course be Reporting Back the minute he has left with a flea in his ear. If he asks for food this time I shall give him a bun with a free flea in his ear.
Oh, I do hope he hasn't gone out for the evening! I am at a bit of a loose end and hearing about him getting his comeuppance would cheer me up immeasurably.
lol, NWM. I *loved* your comment on the blue bouncy ball boy's blog; I wonder if, being a "furriner", he will know what Blighty is. His blog is indeed like "catnip" (in the colourful expression of one commenter).
Indigo HOORAY, I'm so glad you liked it. I concentrated very hard on it and thought of you reading it. This Is A Serious And True Fact.
JJ - your wish is my command.
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