Look, this is a one-off. Thing is I have some Questions and don't know where to get the answers. I am v. anti- blogs about blogging and that but, er, um, well, ah.
1. Mr Dave Shelton's Monkey Drawing aside, how boring IS this template? More to the point, does it matter? I am often Anxious about it, as others seem to make so much effort to make the Full Interface Experience an enjoyable one. Then I find others that are even more plain that this one, and it doesn't matter.
2. When you add someone to your blogroll, should you ask them first? (Top two to the right are new additions, and splendid.)
3. Once someone's on your blogroll, is it Very Rude to take them off? I change it quite a lot. It is an Honest Reflection of what I read with a small pipe and a glass of lemon barley water. I found The Surrealist Compliment Generator this morning, for example, and have been playing with it for whole minutes at a time. ("You have not yet reached the depths of your depravity". "Your skin emanates such a porcelain sheen that I am tempted to stamp WC under your bosom and across your armpits".)
4. On a scale of 1-10, how fucking annoying is my archive? (If you don't care, don't answer. I expect no answers.)
5. If I ever get a job, can I still be "non-workingmonkey", on the condition that I don't write about work? (Which I wouldn't, as the Temptation Would Be Too Great, and I would be Discovered and probably Removed From (the) Office.)
6. Why do the bubbles in my bubbly bath disappear when I use soap? (I like to get a nice lather up on my fur. But I also like bubbles. Not Bubbles the chimp, he's an idiot. Bath bubbles.)
7. Is it the Work of a Twat to post questions about blogging and that? (The answer is yes, I fear, but I am Desperate.)
8. Is it possible to export a gibbon overseas? And if so, could you send him in a basket?
9. Why are there no parking restrictions on the bit of road just before Brixton Railway Bridge, leading to unspeakable traffic all the time and constantly?
10. Why can't I make chocolate mousse or poach eggs, when I can make meringues, cakes, pastry, choux pastry and other stuff people have problems with sometimes?
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19 comments:
It's your blog, your rules. Opinions is all the rest ofus can have, so:
1. Template is fine. It doesn't get in the way, and that is The Most Important Thing.
2. No.
3. No.
4. 1.
5. No, it is against the law.
6. No idea.
7. I don't know. Probably. Any time I do it, no one answers. That makes me think "Oh dear, I've asked some right Twat questions, and people are sitting there thinking 'jeez, what a Twat'".
10. Ha ha you can't poach eggs you twat
The answers mostly are - it's your blog, you can do whatever you like with it and don't let anyone tell you different!
Generally, the plainer the template the better. too much fussy stuff is distracting.
I think there are people who have quite a lot of trauma about blogrolls, but surely they're about what you're reading & what you want to point other people in the direction of, and that will be different things at different times.
But then what do I know.
(poached eggs are *really* tricky)
Agree with most of what's above except that re (5) I believe that non-working is a state of mind and therefore even if employed you would still be non-working monkey. And besides, when did Carphone Warehouse last sell a carphone? Not that that's a good precedent to be following... oh dear.
Oh, and (6): it's something to do with the molecules of detergent (the soap) breaking the surface tension that makes a bubble a bubble. Or something. It's 24 years since I drew the appropriate diagram (in Mr Lane's class).
You can poach eggs and I will help you to make chocolate mousse if you really can't.
None of the other stuff matters, except for that poor gibbon. Oh, and I like this plain thingy.
1. Whatever you do, do not ever change the black text over white background. It is the only sensible thing to do.
Since I am not withblog, it may be presumptuous of me to answer 2 and 3 - however presuming is a specialty of mine, so a resounding No to both.
5. Depends if you feel in your head that your job is work or not. If yes, you could call yourself The Monkey Previously Known as Non-Working.
8. I believe there are very strict rules to regulate the international trade and transport of baskets. Better put him up on a little raft and send him on his way, with sufficient provisions of rolling tobacco and crepes aux champignons.
10. Proper poached eggs are very difficult to make, and even harder is a proper plain omelette. I am not kidding. The task is so daunting that I generally prefer to feed myself with spoonfuls of peanut butter dipped in warm Nutella.
1. It's the words that matter. Plain is usually good.
2. No
3. It's not "very rude", but people can get quite upset about it, rightly or wrongly.
4. I think monthly would be better, otherwise your list of archives is going to get very long, very quickly
5. You can be whomever you want to be
7. No. I think it is perfectly valid to have concerns when you embark on a new project
6 If, having happily splashed in the bubbles, you then rub them onto the bar of soap, you get a particularly creamy lather that goes beautifully onto fur and so you mind less that they vanish afterwards.
Further to 2: the new links don't work. It is rude to PRETEND to blogroll someone, probably.
I must THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH for your advice. Anxious, I will Effect The Changes You Suggest Immediately.
PBC - eat my monkey. They do work. Otherwise, thank you for your kind assurances. And do you know for a fact that exporting gibbons is against the law, even with proper licenses and permissions?
MM - I can only poach eggs in an egg poacher, or wrapped in bits of clingfilm as suggested late one night on the Television, but I can't do it with swirling and that. I think Tired Dad can. I do not know why I know this. As for the chocolate mousse: I have tried one million times and it never works EVEN THOUGH I have watched you do it one million times (and every time a success). By the way, how do you make bechamel without a roux? Anna can do it too.
Johnnyboy - I get the feeling small cigarillos might be more appropriate, but I believe you are the Expert, so I shall take your advice immediately.
Dave - very good points, all well made. I do not think harrods sell rods, or Selfridges ridges come to think of it. It is indeed a state of mind.
Z - I shall try it tonight.
Beth - thank you very much. I agree with you as it goes.
You're right: they work in Internet Explorer.
I'm right: They don't work in Firefox. There is a forward slash after the quoted URLs, which you should remove.
I dont' have a blog so can't answer those questions. However here-not in order are answers I can give.
You will always be NWM because we know you really don't enjoy working
archive is fine
Why would anyone want a gibbon?
Re: Brixton parking-because London parking has never made sense.
One of my friends can do very complex French recipes but is an utter failure at crepes so don't feel bad about your cooking issues. Does anyone really like poached eggs?
PCB - I have removed the forward slash. Whilst my electronic life disappears into the ether, I can at least make other peoples' marvellous blogs available for your delight. do tell me if it works or not.
Martina, thank you for your kind words. I REALLY like poached eggs. Am I strange?
Yes. Clearly not having to faff about with old emails has helped.
There is no better way to eat eggs, except in a cake.
2. I do not know, for you have never added me to your blogroll.
4. 1.
7. Yes. Unless I do it.
5. You must not get a job.
1. Plain is fine. Sure, pretty is nice, but too many whistles and bells are a distraction from the job at hand.
2. No.
3. I've battled with this myself, and as a result my blogroll is out of control.
4. Not annoying. Should it be?
5. How about Non-Non-Working Monkey?
6. Don't know. I shower.
7. Yes it is, but we all have to navel-gaze from time to time.
8. Basket bad idea. The gibbon'll eat through it.
9. I really don't know much about Brixton, except I once got into an unknown man's car there with £400 in my pocket to buy a piece of electronic gadgetry following an ad he placed in Loot. Probably one of the sillier things I've done in my life.
10. Egg poaching is easy. Yorkshire pudding is hard. Them's the facts.
I'm not sure what a proper poached egg is. All I do is chuck an egg into a frying pan which has a small amount of water in it and then flick the hot water over the top so it all cooks nicely.
The important thing is to make sure there's plenty of marmite on the toast it goes onto, with a good dollop of ketchup on the side.
You can do whatever you like with your blog. I personally think the writing is important and fancy backgrounds etc are annoying - but you do what you like, it's yours.
So what is a 'proper' poached egg?
Do not, in any circumstances, make 'proper' poached eggs. You're supposed to put vinegar in the swirly water and it all tastes foul. Stick to little poachy pans smeered (sp?) with lots of butter - so much nicer if less healthy.
* - MM makes yorkshire puddings with as much effort as most people would make toast and they are Delish.
'Proper' poached egg is done in vinegar and that but as MM says they are minging as they taste of vinegar, unless you arse about endlessly with bowls of clean hot water. Little poachy pans excellent. Also excellent: take a cup, or shallow mug. Get a bit of clingfilm, biggish, so you've got room to tie it up. Put the clingfilm in the cup. Put in a tiny bit of olive oil or butter. Break the egg into it. Tie the clingfilm up, put it in boiling water, boil for approx. 4 mins. Is a bit hot whenyou try and untie it but otherwise they're lovely.
I am trying it with marmite tomorrow. This is Not a joke. i saw a woman on the telly once who ate the same thing every morning: toast with marmite, 3 cloves of chopped garlic, a poached egg and alfafa sprouts. She had weird shoes.
Hey.
I am proud of my poached eggs and felt the need to share. You do add vinegar - but just a tiny drop, so you wouldn't even know it was there. Put about two inches of water in a deep frying pan, then bring to a rolling boil. Rolling is important.
Drop of vinegar.
Then - this is the bit that really helps - crack your egg onto a saucer and slide it in sideways.
Trust me, it works every time.
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