A terrible noise. A thumping; running feet; shouting; a slam. I am startled awake and sit upright in a panic, at which point a sudden exposion takes place in my neck. I now cannot move my head to the right. I hold TwatBoy personally responsible. I can HEAR him shouting in the front garden. He is doing something with a broom and SHOUTING at my neighbour about EMPTY BEER BOTTLES.
He has avoided me all week, but you would think that he had learnt something by now. Apparently not. Despite being rich enough to own a £250,000 flat at the age of 27, he is obviously very, very stupid. I shall pour the Ibuprofen gel I am only now rubbing in to my shoulder into his mouth and see if that kills him or, at the very least, makes him very, very ill.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
4 comments:
Send the boys round
Zaphod: she doesn't need the boys - Mama can come round when back in the UK.
NWM: why not tell him all about your lovely blog and suggest that he'll find the archive particularly interesting?
That happened to me, once. Not being able to turn my head, due to "explosion" in my neck. Have your neck muscles gone into spasm? If so, it is possible that the only treatment is a series of sessions with a nurse who sits you down and then attempts to lift you bodily clear of the ground by your head.
It might be useful to know that, should the spasm repeat itself, you can avoid the series of sessions with the nurse by immediately lying down flat on your back with your head turned away from the side that exploded: the pain mounts and mounts to a crescendo and then, just when you think that you will pass out, it vanishes; and everything is back to normal.
This has been a PSA (public service announcement).
Heavens Indigo I just found this - what fantastic advice! Thank you.
Post a Comment