To Kenya. (It's very loud. Careful.)
Oh, you've probably already been. Seen it. That sort of thing. But look, it's Saturday afternoon, it's unseasonably hot, I've turned my sofa into a daybed and I need to fall into a fitful slumber.
If you don't like that, try the sensationally delusional website of the ex-porn model Heather Mills. I'm loving the tabloids at the moment, which is something I thought I'd never say. Now look, I avoid politics, religion, music and commenting on current affairs and that because that's what everything else is for, and I'm sure no-one gives a toss about what I think of George Osbourne. (I will however say this, as I always do whenever I get a chance: he was at school with my brother, whose only comment was: "He was saying he was going to be Prime Minister one day when we were at school. Good to see he's just as much of a twat now as he was then.")
But Heather Mills, Heather Mills. St Paul of the McCartney is a bit of a twat, granted. A bit embarrassing and that. But he's not a wanker. I don't think about him that much, because I don't give a toss, really. But it's not that likely that he pushed a pregnant Heather into a bath when off his tits on 'marijuana'. I very much doubt that he actually and literally refused to let her have a bedpan. (Although bearing in mind what a spaz she is, he could be forgiven for doing so.)
She, however, is obviously a self-publicising, delusional, deceitful, manipulative, greedy, disingenuous cow who's about to be hoist by her own petard. (You know you're in trouble if Max Clifford says he wouldn't represent you "for all the tea in china".) And if The Sun want to repeatedly and consistently refer to her as "the ex-porn model Heather Mills" at any given opportunity, then that's just fine by me.
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9 comments:
Now now now, don't diss the HM-McC. She's only got the one leg.
Although she is the Queen of the Harpees. ("Heres your crown, your Majesty", etc)
I love that Kenya thing, despite my bleeding ears and even though I don't believe there are any tigers there.
I wonder why Norway is singled out as being "crap"...
OH MY GOD. Has HMM only got one leg? I had no idea. Did she lose it in a landmine incident? is that why she goes to the Africa and makes like the Sainted Fool, Diana? Urgh. HMM. I'd rather spend the afternoon with Sarah Brightman, Jade Goody, Jade Goody's boyfriend Jeff and George Osbourne watching Michael Ball and Cliff Richard performing extracts from the work of Andrew Lloyd Weber than I would 3 minutes with in her horse-faced company.
Anxious, I reckon it's artistic licence (sp?), and that. Sorry about the ears.
Thank you for directing me back to Kenya. I particularly like the zebra
Interesting Fact about her website: before, all the people who'd given quotes about her were named. Now their names are withheld. Can't think why. It also hasn't been updated since (I think) July, which is when I last looked at it. (I only remember 'cos I was at work, innit.)
There's a lot of (true) dirt about her flying around that Da Press sat on 'cos she was married to Macca. This Much I Know For A Fact To Be True. She is awful. Promise.
Sorry - back to (one of) the point(s). I always, always try and see the best in everyone I ever split up with, even if they've not behaved kindly or too well and I'm really hurt by it. For some reason I feel better if I think well of them. It hasn't done me an enormous amout of good in some ways, perhaps (doing anything except allowing myself to be angry is not very good for me, or anyone), but I'm good mates with all of 'em, apart from a couple (one of whom is the King of Cunts and was last seen by accident in Canary Wharf earlier this year; the second of whom isn't, but I couldn't see how we could be friends, which is sad). Also I don't think the Mills is being very dignified. Possibly because she's a lunatic.
Following the very public break up of this marriage Paul McCartney was recently asked if "he'd consider going down on one knee again?"
Apparently Paul replied that he'd prefer it if the reporter refered to her as Heather instead.
I'll get me coat...
No no, carry on. I am very fond of that joke.
(word verification: deadpd)
I used to do the Opposite. (The demonising.) Now I rather think I am in the clear-minded place that you are. Which is a blessed relief, and wiser and perhaps more realistic than the other choices.
And yes, it is a bugger as it seems such a waste, but sometimes there's just no point, and nothing to be gained. And more importantly, happy things that you know already (like old friends) and possibilities that are very distant, but already kinder and more possible than the person you can no longer be friends with, make the loss of a perhaps-friendship easier to bear.
No it's not the money. It's the fact she's horrid. Promise. Really. But I salute your fair-mindedness.
I hate it when the comments are more interesting than the original piss-poor post.
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