Why is the cat in the bathroom, squeaking frantically? Is he dying? (Fingers crossed.) Why is the back door banging? What's that rustling noise and that weird tap-tap sound like a phantom dog?
But of course! It isn't the cat, or the wind, or a phantom dog. Naturally, it's a fox, in my sitting room, sitting on its arse, watching telly from behind the door. Which obviously makes sense, what with this being London, and me being in my house.
And I can't be sure, but I think it's the fox who's been in before (what is the lifespan of a fox that lives off the insides of wheely bins?). The same one that watched EastEnders one night a couple of years ago, then stole a (heavy) bag and chewed its handle off in the garden, perhaps?
And no, it's not 'cute'. It's weird.
Coming Soon: There is a rhinoceros in the room.
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2 comments:
They're like mice, foxes. They get in under doors and cracks in floorboards and that. You'll need to check your insulation. You don't want the little fuckers setting up a nest.
I should be in bed. But am pissing myself over your foxy situation.
And the cat.
Must go to bed.
Jx
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