And it seems no-one else can either. Is it just me or is the comment thing fucked?
I assume it must be, otherwise the person who spent 75 minutes reading 32 pages of this blog this morning would surely have left a comment saying: "my dear Non-workingmonkey, thank you for filling an hour and a quarter of my time in a way that has made me happy." On the other hand, it might be Rupert Murdoch planning to acquire this centre of blogging excellence, so I shouldn't complain too much.
I wish I were still in Canterbury. It's sunny there, and people are nice to you in shops. You can walk round the entire city in 3.2 seconds; the drink is cheaper; the men are handsome and the company pleasant. In London, it is pouring with rain and full of traffic jams, mainly caused by seventeen year olds in souped-up Peugeot 206es revving like spastics, and fools in 4x4s blocking roads that were designed for two cars of average size. In Woolworth's, a checkout lady broke three tills. In Sainsbury's, a man who smelt of wee dropped yoghurt on my foot and the security guard in New Look accused me of shoplifting. And on telly, ugly pikeys are taking DNA tests to prove that they are not each others' father.
I am going to make chicken soup and Consider My Options.
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7 comments:
Dear Non-workingmonkey - thank you for filling about seven minutes of my day. You made me laugh and you made me remember why London scares me so very much! And all that in about seven, possibly eight minutes!
x
Dear Non-Working Monkey, please don't say 'spastics' and 'pikey' both of which are rude and the second of which is racist. Apart from that, keep up the good work.
Dear Sculdugger,
Thank you for your kind words. I am afraid my vocabulary is limited and I need to hang on to both words, although 'idiot' is usually preferable to 'spastic' (as even I am vaguely uncomfortable with its true meaning). As for pikey: no chance. It's staying in otherwise I would be completely lost for words after even a short trip to Streatham High Street.
Yours ever
NWM
Dearest Caroline, thank you for your kind words. London is truly Awful, and you shouldn't come here again unless you get free tickets to "Sir" Andrew Lloyd Weber's new production of The Sound of Music, although We Will Rock You might be worth the price of a cheap day return.
NWM
Yayyyy comments are backkkk!! So happy it wasn't something i buggered up for once....happy days!
Now dear NWM I demand (yep scary voice) that you move immediately to the Home Counties where the sun always shines (ok well actually not right at this moment but work with me here)and there are loads of trees and green spaces for your friendly squirrels to frolick in(you will be bringing them with you I assume?) Oh and bring chicken soup please!
xxx
Currently Unwaged Simian, I stumbled upon and have read several pages of your log d'web and found it most enjoyable... Yours and Exhausted Fathers. I particularly enjoyed your weight loss chart.
I just chose never to mention it until begged.
Thanks innit. There was an actual like technical (I think it's called) problem with the comment thing today but ooh, I love being covered in Monkeylove.
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