If you have been to That London recently, you will be aware of the Evil that is the Bendy Bus. They are the size of the moon and one bus alone will fill up the whole of Oxford Street, rendering it impassable for even a tiny mouse in a tiny mouse car (or even a flea circus on unicycles). I spend my life rammed between them in tedious traffic on Broadgate. But today I noticed this little sign on the back of one of them and thought about it carefully for a while. If you are behind the bus or have eyes in your head, you will be aware of its immense scale. So who's this sign for? The only explanation I can think of is this:
Transport Planner 1: Right, I think the signage is OK on this one. Is it ready to go, Trevor?
Transport Planner 2: One thing, Graham, one thing. Hold your horses. No need to be hasty.
Transport Planner 1: Yes?
Transport Planner 2: Well, say the spirit incarnation of Evil Knievel is in Broadgate, thinking of doing an 18-bus leap on his motorcycle ...
Transport Planner 1: Go on...
Transport Planner 2: ... well, could get nasty if he thinks it's a little bus.
Transport Planner 1: See what you're saying there. D'ya reckon the Spirit World is metric?
Transport Planner 2: Yes, Graham, I do.
Transport Planner 1: Right. "Warning: This bus is 18 metres long" should do it.
Transport Planner 2: Let's hope so, Trevor! I don't fancy being around if it all goes to shit.
Transport Planner 1: See what you're saying there! Pint?
Transport Planner 2: Well-deserved for good day's work. Mine's a lager top.
5 comments:
Dude, you made me spittake. Awesome.
I think the sign is to advise the tiny mice in their tiny mousey cars, and the fleas on their unicycles, that they do not have a chance in hell of passing the bastard, even when it is stationary at a stop.
Mummy, you know the mice and the fleas - they do really exist, don't they?
(Someone emailed me earlier saying, is that your actual and real mother who comments on the blog, and I said yes, and she is a person who still quotes you saying "Ah yes! The country ... where the cunts live.")
T - you make me happy.
Of course they exist darling. If you believe them to be real, then they are.
By the way, what was the number of the Tavistock Clinic?
Incidentally, regarding the country, etc, I think you must be mistaking me for someone else.
Very funny post! I'm here via Tracy and will definitely be back!
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