I am not going to re-name this blog "Non-Smokingmonkey" as we shall all die of boredom (if the fags and sherry don't get us first), but EXTRAORDINARY news reaches me via my imaginary friend Johnnyboy, the French Canadian vet. Apparently (and he has two Imaginary MScs, so he must be right), the grey spiral things in the shape of lung-y bits that (according to my brother), come flying out of your gob like phlegm-encased missiles when you give up smoking are called Curschmann's Spirals. Don't look it up on Google*; you'll be sick on your hands - it's a bit grim, to be frank. (You may have to read words like mucous and plugs next to each other, making mucous plugs**.)
Anyroad up, here's a picture of them/it/one of them. Pretty, isn't it/aren't they? (Imaginary Vet Friend, please clarify). Must say I can't wait. Apparently horses get them when they have heaves. Whatever they are.
Cough.
* I refuse to say "Google it"; I'm sure Google isn't a verb. Come to think of it, I don't think "e-mail" is either. And it's 10 items or fewer, not ten items or less. Honestly.
** Once we start down this route, we are Lost. Moist, moistened lips, moist gusset, soiled linen, thinly sliced, damp - you know where I'm going. Down Bad Word Avenue, that's where.
3 comments:
Oh deary, this is almost more exposure than my poor secretive self can endure. I think I will have to swallow a handful of Tylenol and go lie down with a moist towelette.
But to answer your question, I believe there are two in that photo. Also, although they are easily spotted on microscopic examination of a sputum smear*, they are quite small - be prepared to have to stare very closely into the products of your entrails in order to spot the booggers.
* do you like it when I talk dirty ?
Eeeeewwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwww and quadruple ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! Did I make my point yet????
OK thanks for giving me the boost to keep smoking and keep all that shit in my lungs where it rightfully belongs!
Alright, maybe not the support you needed....will try harder.....promise....right after I finish this ciggie!
xxx
PS Check mail!
M - I am very jealous of you smoking a fag.
Imaginary Vet Friend - you, me, Canterbury, the moonlight and a petri dish. I think it sounds marvellous. I will try not to heave.
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