Sue looks like she should be a mechanic. Solid and handsome. Looks good in her black overall.
I arrived today for the treatment so painful that only the drunk should undertake it. She didn't even say hello; just swooshed her hand and said: "In".
Sue: Ready?
Me: (small voice) Yes.
Sue: Right. Here we go.
Me: Fuck.
Sue laughs.
Me: FUCKING HELL.
10 minutes pass.
Me: FUCK'S SAKE, man!
Sue laughs harder.
Me: (tiny voice, accent of 50s English film star): Oh Sue, will I EVER be pretty again?
Sue: (laughs even harder) Maybe.
I gave her a £10 tip.
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8 comments:
Great blog, very funny stuff. I see we are both blogging for the daily shandy, so i thought i'd say hi!
What in the world did you have done?
I could tell you, but I would have to kill you. Not the sort of thing you'd let on to any gentleman caller, let's put it that way.
xx
I'm guessing an intimate waxing of the Brazilian variety. Egads, I thought shaving for gentleman callers was bad enough. I have been tempted to wax but thought to myself, "Is he worth the pain, the humiliation?" and the answer was no.
I'd wager on the waxing too, as it brought back painful memories.
Men get waxed for lady callers too, don't you know.
(well, maybe not in Britain - I don't believe the metrosexual thing has made many in-roads (so to speak) in your neck of the woods).
Oh Lord johnnyboy, I guess you think we all have brown, uneven teeth, wear bowler hats and speak with cockney accents too, and that's just the women.
You mean you don't ? Brits with good teeth ? You're shattering my whole world view there, monkeymum.
Dear Johnnboy, I have found that dentally-speaking there are generally two sorts of people: the challenged (terrible, horrible teeth) and the sane (well-looked after, healthy, but not necessarily even, teeth).
However, worldwide, there are also those lunatics who have allowed dentists and ortodontists loose in their mouths. They have either capped their teeth to the extent that they look like they're wearing their Grandpa's dentures and/or their teeth are bleached so much that they glow in the dark, cf most Hollywood stars and most of our American friends. Why??
Hope this helps in your quest for wider knowledge of the world.
P.S. Monkeydad is not keen on waxing, but we both shower regularly - yes, it's true!
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