Five (5) Things, Plus Maybe A Few More Because I Missed It Yesterday. Wednesday 13th February

1. In Canada, we are safe from Zombies. This is good to know because I have been worrying about it. 
2. Up at 4 yesterday and in office before the cleaners got there. Felt excellent until other people came into office. Felt bad around 4 when I accidentally knocked someone's drawer open on their desk and saw a massive rubber hand in it. 
3. Went to Toronto.  Talked about Tesco quite a lot.
4. Thinking about Waitrose and Tesco generally.  Do you like one more than the other? If so, why? 
5. Thought about John Lewis Partnership and its stores. Escalators in Peter Jones when was a tiny child & Monkeymother I think singing. Feet measured on the special foot measuring device in Start-Rite. School uniform. Green and white bags.  It is important to say that I love John Lewis Partnership so much that the other day I cried just thinking about it.  I make no bones about it.
6. Thought about it a bit more and wondered if I would be able to get a job there if we ever moved back to England. Realised wouldn't be a super idea as would just be crying the whole time. 
7. Ate a 'tunaburger' for dinner with odd Montreal fries which are both soft and crispy, sweet and salty at the same time. It has a particular heft, the Montreal fry. I know not where it comes from. (NB I am not talking about sweet potato fries. I know the difference.)
8. Wondered how 'up at 4 and at work before the cleaners' would look as a statement on a blog about 'non-working'. Here is the thing. The work I am doing at the moment is incredibly interesting and I am really enjoying it. If I wake up early I start thinking about it and then THAT'S IT. So I do the work. It's OK as long as I remember to sleep etc. 

Five (5) Things: Monday 11th February

So far the thing of writing down 5 "moments" (dread word) from every day is working out OK for me. I don't know about you, mind. Anyway, here are today's:

1. Eat North Staffordshire Pancakes for breakfast and marvel again at their chewy brilliance. If you do not know of them, they are like a cross between a crumpet and a pancake and sourdough bread and probably better for you than bread as made of oats etc. Recipe here. You should try them. 
2. Wonder about fancy dress themes and am pretty sure everyone is doing Downton Abbey. For those that can take it, you get to wear nice dresses, dangly earrings, black tie, tweed, etc. For those that can't, you go as Mrs Patmore.
3. A dog comes into office. I talk to dog, stroke it, pat it, play with its ears etc then realise Chairman is talking to me/looking at me/standing next to me etc whilst I am making "I love you" faces  at dog.
4. Am secretly proud of massive scab I have on left hand from burning self on oven yesterday. Looks like have been in a fight with a hamster holding a tiny lightsabre made of internally illuminated super-hot metal. Make a lot of expansive hand gestures but no-one notices.
5. Spots. Why spots? WHY?

Five (5) Things : Sunday 10th February

1. 'Bring Your Cat To Work' day
2. Blackcurrants rare in Canada although at least they exist here, unlike hedgehogs. Reminded of someone saying no trees in England, only hedgehogs.
3. Keep falling asleep like gigantic dormouse. No more water running from nose, just aching bones. Arthritic dormouse maybe.
4. Blogging on iPad hard but forced to be brief so blessed relief for all readers. (Do not put comments saying O we like it when you do the blog on the iPad.)
5. Treat for middle aged people: electric blanket on 8.

Five (5) Things: Saturday 9th February

1. Go the butcher to get some pig. And some quail's eggs, and some chicken liver, and some lentils. Come home with something I do not remember buying. It is a hot sausage wrapped in foil. Strange. It has been cut in two and had mustard put in it. It tastes like a hot sponge soaked in Bisto, which is odd because normally they make nice sausage. Put it in the bin, wonder if someone Montreal is missing a sausage. Wonder if there's a market for a Grindr type app.
2. Listen to the Archers, which appears to be homage à Brief Encounter. Confused. Spend quite a long time trying to imagine the BBC script meeting in which this (compete with smut in the eye, lady interrupting, etc) was suggested. Look it up but find no answer, only another question: why, Vanessa Whitburn, WHY?
3. Watch Four in a Bed. Decided I would apply to be on it if I ever open a B&B & go through scenario in head in which do audition tape, send it off and am rejected & pretend to be OK about it to neighbours, lady in local shop etc (all of whom have been rooting for my application as a 'local hero' who gives them wine when they 'just drop in'), but am in fact indignant but not embarrassed.
4. Hip hurts. Look it up. Probably arthritis, which seems premature because I haven't done half the things I was supposed to do before crippled by arthritis and/or have a hip replacement, e.g. appear in Four in a Bed, own a lively dog, go riding again, get photographed gurning behind Sting  when he is being challenged about his helicopter.
5. Notice seem to have cold, if a cold is water running out of your nose. Lie down. Remain lying down. Write this lying on left side so right hip doesn't hurt with water running out of left nostril. 

(Just one extra thing)