I re-write a popular hit classic

Yes, my friends: the notion of "cake" has been much with me of late, what with a recent (and, I have discovered, eminently sensible) decision to bake my own wedding cakes.

So much is it with me, that I am re-writing popular classics in my head! For example, a few well-chosen tweaks to George Michael's smash-hit number one 45, "I want your sex", and you have a hymn to confection-intimacy! (I am, I should confess, particularly pleased with the last two lines).

"I want your cake
I want your cake
I want your.....cake

It's natural
It's chemical (let's do it)
It's logical
Habitual (can we do it?)
It's sensual
But most of all.....
Cake is something that we should do
Cake is something for me and you

Cake is natural - cake is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should
Cake is natural - cake is fun
Cake is best when it's....bun on bun
bun on bun."

(Not dissimilar, I am sure regular readers will agree, with last May's foray into the renaming of classical composers!)

I wish you a happy Friday

Unbearable, unacceptable, wrong, evil, and should be stopped. But only after you've watched it.

I get some wise advice

Oddly, we are still to be married. Luckily, the French-Canadian veterinary research histopathologist to whom I am to be married has cheap taste*, and his wedding ring is costing under $15. Mine is just over $23, but only because I went for the intermingled Lord of the Rings rune/Harry Potter symbol, whereas he's just gone for a sort of Celtic knot/Fleur de Lys type affair.

And so it rumbles on: If the chairs in the place you are getting married look like old academics have been weeing on them every day since 1973, do you get chair covers when it will cost $500 plus tax? Conclusion: Jimmy the Greek, $2, I put them on for you. Pumpkins (non-orange), cake stands (no, but really, are you kidding me?). What the cock is a "wedding programme"? No, I am not paying someone to draw a table plan. No, my guests do not want a biscuit I made 3 days ago in a greaseproof paper bag with a 'custom sticker' on it to take home. Yes, I made my own cakes and no, you do not like fondant icing, and do not pretend you do.

And so it goes on.

But all this is as nothing, for last weekend I was given a fridge magnet that was, like the chair-wetting professors, from 1973 and it, my friends, gives us the only advice any of us will ever need.



(And no, don't bother to comment about the extra apostrophe - everyone else will have noticed as well.)

* Obviously.

I am also disgusted by this

I find this completely unacceptable

We have been here before, and yet it continues! I will not put up with it for a second longer.